


Kiss The Pirate

by Ultra



Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies), The Little Mermaid (1989)
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Crack Crossover, Crossover, Drowning, F/M, Fights, Fluff and Crack, Friendship, Kissing, Love, Mermaids, Nakedness, Pirates, Rescue, Reunions, Romantic Comedy, Swimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-25
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-02 13:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4062067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultra/pseuds/Ultra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crack Crossover One-Shot. A stranger aboard the Pearl causes quite a stir and may yet help Jack and Elizabeth to realise some feelings they've been denying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss The Pirate

**Author's Note:**

> For my friend Florencia, on her birthday.

“Man overboard!” Elizabeth cried, though it was clear enough when the person made another leap to escape the waters grip that she was very much female. “ _Woman_ overboard!” she tried again.

This time Elizabeth got a much bigger reaction. Every single man aboard came running and with such force that the ship actually lurched to one side. Unfortunately none amongst the Pearl’s crew seemed ready to lend a hand so much as see if they could get an eyeful of what was on offer.

“Somebody throw her a line!” instructed Elizabeth, but all she received were blank looks.

She took it upon herself to assist, throwing the nearest rope towards the flailing woman in the water. It wasn’t as if she was shocked to find that the rest of the crew were dumb struck. It became very clear as Elizabeth tried to pull the drowning woman aboard that she was almost completely naked.

“Whatever is all the fuss?” asked Jack as he appeared from his cabin, right at the moment Elizabeth hauled the other woman aboard. “Can’t say as that was what I was expecting. Not that I’m complaining,” he said more to himself than anyone else, since nobody was listening.

“Your jacket, Captain!” Elizabeth demanded of him then, shielding the other woman from the view of the leering crew as much as she could until Jack complied.

He opened his mouth to argue, as usual, but decided against in an instant.

“You know you are at your most beautiful, Lizzie, when angry,” he reminded her as he removed his coat and handed it over.

Elizabeth said nothing but turned to the poor girl cowering on the deck and tried to put the clothing around her body that currently wore nothing but two seashells, strategically placed. The woman flinched away in fear but made no sound.

“It’s alright,” Elizabeth assured her. “I know this doesn’t seem like a safe place, but we can protect you. We mean you no harm,” she said definitely and calmly, with a smile she hoped looked as genuine as it was supposed to be.

The young woman stopped moving then, stared at Elizabeth with pain evident in her eyes. She reached out to pick the coat from her hands and pulled it on, arms slipping awkwardly through the sleeves. Elizabeth was only relieved to have the strangers body covered to the knees, so the other pirates could no longer see anything they really shouldn’t. She watched the girl flip her long red hair outside the coat and then struggle terribly to get to her feet.

“Here, let me help you,” Elizabeth offered her hands and gave the girl leverage to stand. “Now, that’s better. Can you tell me your name?”

The girl opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out. Her hand went to her throat and she winced. Clearly she was supposed to have a voice and yet there was none.

Elizabeth heard a general muttering behind her and turned to find every pirate from the crew standing right on her heels. Their presence wasn’t helping and this much she told hem.

“Can’t you go and do whatever it is you normally do?” she urged them. “Jack, they’re scaring her!” she implored the captain to be reasonable.

“Right then. Off you go, men. To your work, you scurvy lot!” he shouted when only a few began to shift themselves.

Elizabeth smiled gratefully at him before returning to the mute girl. She looked so sad and lost, and Elizabeth understood that look. Until she became a part of the crew of the Pearl, she had felt she belonged nowhere at all. With no parents to go home to, and a so-called husband doomed to sail the Flying Dutchman for ten years at a time without landing ashore, it had not taken much to convince her to return to the ship she knew and loved.

Elizabeth belonged on the Black Pearl and she knew it. It seemed right to leave after everything that had happened with Will, but the day he left shore and disappeared, it had been he that told her he understood her heart still belonged on the Pearl. She had cried then, not because he hurt her with lies, but because the truth was too much to bear. She did love Will, just not enough, and with him set to be gone for so long, he only wanted to know she would be happy without him. Elizabeth promised to track down Captain Sparrow and re-join his crew, living her life as the pirate she always felt she was inside. The only real problem was Jack, as it was again in this moment.

“Where did she come from?” he asked, peering over Elizabeth’s shoulder at the mystery girl. “And what’s that moving in her hair?” he asked, startled by the movement he saw.

“Nothing worse than what has been known to live in yours, I’m sure,” said Elizabeth in amusement as she investigated.

There at the girl’s shoulder she too saw something move and then leap out onto the deck. The next thing anyone knew a small crab was making a hasty exit from the ship without looking back. The girl sadly watched him leave, tears in her eyes. This was getting stranger by the second.

“Alright,” said Elizabeth. “Um, if she cannot speak, perhaps she can write?”

She looked to Jack but he seemed distracted by the beautiful red-head that was currently wearing his coat and little else. Elizabeth shook her head and went to find something to write with and on.

When she came back to the Pearl, she was sure Jack had feelings for her, and Elizabeth knew full well she had plenty for him. He had never made a move on her since she returned, and she couldn’t bear to make a fool of herself by being the first. Jack seemed interested in any and all women that crossed his path, this new one included. Elizabeth felt foolish for ever thinking she was different or special to Jack. It wasn’t honour to Will that kept him at bay. Pirates rarely had any honour to speak of, and even if that were it, Elizabeth had explained the way things were now, the fact that Will had set her free from their sham marriage. It made no difference, and Elizabeth hated it.

“Here,” she said as she returned, armed with paper and pencil. “Can you write your name?” she asked the girl who happily nodded, taking the pencil in her hand.

Her tongue stuck out the corner of her mouth as she sat down on deck and concentrated on forming her letters. Elizabeth and Jack both leant over her shoulders to see what she wrote.

“Ariel?” Elizabeth checked when she was done. “Your name is Ariel?”

The vigorous nodding of her head seemed to prove that was correct.

“Very pretty name, love,” Jack told her with a leer, right up until he got Elizabeth’s elbow in his ribs.

“Sorry. I slipped,” she smirked before looking back to Ariel. “Are you lost?” she asked next. “Can we help you get home?”

Ariel frowned a little and then took up her pencil again. She began writing with all the effort she possessed and Elizabeth concentrated on watching the letters form. She heard nothing of the commotion on the other side of the ship and was unaware anything was happening, until suddenly Jack spoke up.

“Er, Lizzie? Not to interrupt the fun, but as Captain of this ship I think it’s my duty to inform you... We’re under attack!” he bellowed the last part, rushing to starboard to rally his men.

Elizabeth looked up sharply to see another ship approaching, the cannon’s poised to fire. Her eyes widened with surprise, and then grew even bigger when Ariel began bouncing up and down excitedly beside her. She waved around the paper she had been writing on, pointing at the other ship, looking as if she might be laughing though still no sound came from her lips. Taking the paper, Elizabeth quickly read the childlike handwriting and gasped.

“Eric,” she read aloud. “My prince. My true love.”

Turning back to see the oncoming ship about to fire, Elizabeth waved her arms madly.

“No!” she called as loud as she could. “We mean no harm! We come in peace!”

“You may come in peace, dearie,” Jack shouted to her from the helm. “They bloody don’t, and neither do I, savvy? We are pirates!”

That rousing non-speech got a cry of solidarity from the crew, but only an exasperated sigh from Elizabeth.

“They are ridiculous!” she declared, looking to Ariel. “They would see this ship and your Prince’s vessel blown to pieces just to prove they have the bigger weapons!” she said pointedly.

Ariel only looked confused. It helped not at all that the girl couldn’t speak. If only she could let this Prince Eric know she was safe here, that she had not been kidnapped nor treated badly, he may decide not to attack. Of course there was every chance he had no idea Ariel was even aboard. A prince was likely as not to attack pirates simply for being what they were.

Elizabeth winced as a cannon fired, grabbed hold of Ariel and encouraged her to duck. They were huddled together on the deck as the cannon ball flew past without causing a bit of damage.

“A warning shot!” said Jack. “Prepare to return fire!”

“No!” Elizabeth argued. “Can’t you see that will only escalate the matter? We need to let them know we are no threat. Surrender!”

“Who exactly is Captain of this ship, Lizzie?” asked Jack pointedly, but that only made her more angry.

“If we surrender and return Eric’s true love to him,” she said slowly and as if to a young child, gesturing to Ariel to show who she was talking of. “Then there may be some reward to show for it. Maybe gold, or rum, perhaps?” she suggested, an eyebrow raised.

Jack took all of three seconds to consider and then looked overjoyed. His whole attitude was altered in an instant.

“Hoist the white flag!” he told the crew loudly.

“White flag?” the crewmen asked each other in confusion.

“You’d have us surrender, Cap’n?” asked Gibbs with a frown.

“Don’t ask questions, Mr Gibbs, hoist the bloody flag!” his Captain insisted, and so it was done.

It was a relief to see Eric signal to his crew not to fire the second shot. Elizabeth felt a huge sigh go through her at the sight. Ariel was overjoyed beside her, bouncing up and down and clapping her hands together. Jack hopped down from the helm to stand with the women as the ships came along side each other, close enough to call across.

“Ariel!” Eric called to her.

She opened her mouth to shout back but still no words came. Elizabeth didn’t quite understand the problem, but she felt sorry for the poor girl.

“She cannot speak, sir,” said Elizabeth loudly. “But if she could, she could tell you that those aboard the Black Pearl saved her life rather than endangered it.”

Prince Eric looked dubious at first but on seeing how well and happy his Ariel looked, he smiled.

“Permission to board, Captain?” he asked Elizabeth who almost laughed at the mistake.

“Permission granted,” said Jack from beside her. “By Captain Jack Sparrow.”

Elizabeth was smirking at the mistake Prince Eric had made, but that expression soon disappeared from her face as gang planks were placed across the gap between two ships and finally two lovers were reunited. When Ariel jumped into the arms of her prince, her feet coming up off the floor as he spun her around, there was such a smile on her face. She couldn’t tell Eric she was glad to see him or that she loved him, but there was just no need for words at all. Every emotion played across both their faces, every ounce of love they felt shone in their eyes as they embraced.

“Beautiful,” said Elizabeth softly, hardly aware of her own voice in that moment.

Instead she heard something else, what sounded almost like a song being sung or at the very least hummed somewhere in the background. She turned around and looked to see who was there, but there was no-one that could be making such a melody.

“Can you hear that music?” she asked.

Jack cocked his head and tried to listen. He would have blamed the rum if Elizabeth hadn’t mentioned it first, but indeed he could here singing from somewhere distant. A seagull flew low over head and all around the ship, the fish seemed to be coming closer to see what was happening aboard. That was ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as believing he could hear someone telling him to kiss Elizabeth.

He turned back to see Ariel and Eric joined at the lips. Maybe the strange message was meant for them, and yet when Elizabeth spoke his name and Jack’s eyes returned to her pretty face, it was hard to think of anything but kissing her. So long trying to resist for his own good as well as hers. Now he couldn’t remember why, except maybe he was worried after the last time, the whole Kraken thing.

Elizabeth waited for as long as she could bear, and realised after a minute that Jack was never going to make the first move. The music in her head (for she could not believe the fish were actually singing, that would be insane) was urging her on and so she gave in to the feelings that had been in her heart far too long by now.

“Oh, for goodness sake!” she declared, grabbing a handful of Jack’s shirt and pulling him close enough to kiss.

It felt good, very good. As good as the last time and better because they didn’t have to have any fears or regrets about it. Elizabeth got quite lost in the moment, her mind growing fuzzy as the breath left her body, but she didn’t mind at all. It was only when they finally parted, both a little startled by what had occurred, that they realised they could hear an unfamiliar voice.

“I love you, Eric,” said Ariel joyously.

“I love you too,” he promised, kissing her again.

“Now, there’s a turn up for the books,” said Jack.

Elizabeth turned back to meet his eyes again, unsure what exactly he meant.

“Not them, Lizzie” he assured her, reaching out to push her hair back off her face. “Shoulda known that in the end you’d give in to my charms love,” he smirked wickedly, making her grin in spite of herself.

“What happened to ‘things would never have worked between us’?” she asked, imitating him badly.

Jack wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her ever closer.

“Don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, Elizabeth,” he said softly before kissing her again.

The crew didn’t know where to look first, at the mystery girl and her prince kissing near the gang plank, or their captain and Elizabeth kissing a few feet away. This was not the kind of thing they were used to seeing on the Black Pearl, but even the most hardened pirate couldn’t help but be moved by two true love stories.

And, as in all good stories of true love, they all lived happily ever after.


End file.
